Reflections and more..

Review of 2006!

2007-01-03T19:37:00.000+08:00

Oh goodness I haven't blogged in like almost a quarter already! Really quite surprised and grateful that I've got really good friends that continue to take their time off to read my blog, even though I haven't updated it in like...eons =P. And it's the time of the year again to do stocktaking! Overall, this year has been a really really great year for me. Thank God =)

Spiritual Report
Year 2006 is a milestone of my journey to improve the spiritual aspect of my life - I became a Christian on 12th july 2006. Really grateful to God for drawing me nearer to Him than I was before, even though my reason for receiving Christ was for myself He still loves me all the same. Spiritual growth is still pretty slow though, almost negligible. Really can't sense God's presence around me, don't feel that intimacy that Pastor Jeff (my church's pastor) always preaches about. Shirley, swee leong and guan rui prayed for my holy spirit baptism about 2 months ago; there wasn't much success, if any at all. Not to mention that the 2 major prayers that I made for this year went unanswered *sigh*.

Financial Report
This year has really been a bountiful year for me in terms of $$! Really wanna thank wilson who introduced my tuition agency to me, which sparked of a chain reaction of referrals. Was teaching 6 JC students at my peak last semester, which equates to a monthly income of almost $2000! Like wow, really feel blessed. Thanks to this, I was able to pay for my bike in full (the bike is also my largest one-shot expenditure, it cost me $6000...fork out $6000 all at once really quite heart pain *sob*).

Also 2006 is the year where I started investing $$ into various stuff. Really thank God that my investments are performing up to my satisfaction so far. Monthly expenditure for the year averages at around $400, with the exception of december where it hit $1300 (and I din go on holiday). Really thank God again for the ability to spend so much $$ and still remaining in the black for my december income statement. And yes, it really feels good to spend $$ muahahahaha =p

Financial outlook up till my graduation looks really positive. Even if I don't do any work at all from now on, I have enough $$ already to last for the university years provided I don't do anything really stupid. Really pray that God will continue to bless my investments this year... also this year I will be starting to invest in the stock market as part of my plan, really pray that God will groom me to become a wise and savvy investor with loads of $$.

Education report
2006 is a year where my brain experienced explosive growth (no, not in mass unfortunately). I educated myself about the 4 main components of my knowledge that I wanted to develop, and the outcomes are far better than I have expected, really thank God for that. This year also marked my entry into NUS. As a freshman, I had a vision when I went in during august 06 - I believed that it's possible to get good grades and have a hell of fun and make $$ at the same time (yeah I know I know, I'm damn greedy =P). And I was right. With the right skills developed, it certainly was possible. I had an academic goal for the first semester, that is obtaining a CAP of at least 4.5, and I predicted my grades after sitting for the final exam. These were my predictions:

Critical Thinking & Writing A
Maths I A
Management & Organisation A-
Principles of Marketing B+
Materials Science & Engineering B+
=> CAP: just nice 4.5

This was I obtained:

Critical Thinking & Writing A
Maths I A-
Management & Organisation A-
Principles of Marketing A+
Materials Science & Engineering B+
=> CAP: 4.6

Yep, more or less the same with what I expected (my predictions usually quite zhun de =P). Just that I really didn't expect to get A- for maths; I thought I would get an A! Ha even choo liang, my chief advisor for maths, got A- too. Really quite surprised hahaha. Even more amazing was my marketing module! That one is really black horse sia. I got a B grade for my individual assignment, and a B+ grade for my group project. It's really amazing that I could get A+ for it. The only plausible explanation was that the essay questions pulled up my grade (it was 60% of the final exam, and 30% of the overall grade). Well, the marker must have really enjoyed reading my crap. People always do =P

The results provide an affirmation to my mental prowess and my academic vision, unfortunately one of my major prayers, which was for all my modules to obtain at least A- grade, went unanswered. But I achieved what I aimed for nonetheless. Really thank God for making it possible. Pray that I'll be able to improve my CAP this sem, and I pray that God allows me to study the double degree in biz & engineering. Part of my plan involves getting the relevant biz knowledge.

Dating report
Quite a few breakthroughs in this area too, and I've learnt many important lessons regarding girl psychology.. beginning to see the bigger picture now, really thank God for this. Details are classified top secret for now =P

Overall report
This year has really been a year of many breakthroughs for me in many areas of my life, I really feel like I have aged 10 years after going through 2006. Pray that God will allow 2007 to be an even better and more fruitful year than 2006! (Yah I know I'm really very greedy, but I'm sure God is a generous God!! =D)

Some thoughts on wasting food

2006-09-17T10:21:00.000+08:00

When I was having lunch at a nearby hawker centre a few days back, I overhead a mother severely admonishing her overfed son. The poor boy was given a earful for not finishing the Hainan chicken rice on his plate. Since young, many if not most of us have been taught (maybe even forced) by our parents to clear our plate. Stories of impoverished children so starved that they eat insects and tree bark for food in some remote African country have been continuously fed into our young minds to remind us of the fact that we are very fortunate and should not waste food. Even poems, such as the classic “锄禾日当午，汗滴禾下土。谁知盘中餐，粒粒皆辛苦。” fortifies the unquestioned belief in our heads that wasting food is a sin.

Before we go on further, let me first say that I acknowledge the fact that we are indeed fortunate to have a plate filled with food for every meal unlike our counterparts in Africa and they have my deepest sympathy. However, is it logical to make such a big fuss over wasting food when most, if not all of us are guilty of wasting something even more precious to us? Think about it. We feel such a sense of loss when we waste food, but make no apologies for wasting our most valuable asset in life, which is time! (Some people will argue that our brain is our most important asset and not time, but I would say that time can turn any idiot into a genius, period.) How ironic can that be.

So who REALLY won the war on terror?

2006-09-10T18:14:00.000+08:00

Who won the war on terror? George Bush says America did against Al Qaeda, Taleban Afghanistan and Saddam Hussein. Ehud Olmert says Israel did against Hizbollah and Hamas. But is it really the case with the bushy beardies claiming otherwise? Allow me to quote Cofer Black, the CIA's counter-terrorist head, in his statement years ago - "Bring me bin Laden's head on ice and his subordinates' heads on pikes!" And also Olmert in a recent statement - "I think that trading prisoners with a bloody terror organization such as Hamas is a major mistake. I want it to be very clear: I don't negotiate with Hamas, I did not negotiate with Hamas, and I will not negotiate with Hamas."

But until now, with the count of bodies hitting 2500 in Iraq and counting, Osama's head is still happily attached to its body while the "weapons of mass destruction" in Iraq, which presence Bush so rigorously affirmed years ago, are still yet to be uncovered. In fact, whether Iraq really had nuclear capabilities remains a mystery right to this day. Even when we give Bush the benefit of the doubt and we should, because "Saddam Hussein is a bad man", it is still hard to affirm that America really won the war. Just look at the big mess that America is clearing up in Afghanistan and Iraq, not to mention the big billion-dollar bill incurred. Tons of analyses and press reports have attributed the main cause of such an outcome to poor planning, which is obviously the case. In fact, the planning was so haphazard that a slide for a meeting held to discuss invasion plans days before the Iraqi invasion displayed "To be provided" when the presentation reached the post-war construction part. Can you imagine that?

Israel is no better off though. When I first heard the news of the Israeli offensive, I expected Israel to kick Hizbollah's butt after being reminded of Israeli military prowess in the 70s and 80s. Unfortunately for Olmert, it turned out otherwise although he refuses to admit it and it didn't take long for me to realise that (all it took was a picture of Hizbollah leader Nasrallah defiantly emerging from his bunker after an Israeli air raid). All that were destroyed by Olmert's heavy air strikes and weak ground offensives were just innocent Lebanese civillians and buildings; objects of great insignificance compared to the aim of the invasion. Poor Olmert, this war has cost him and Israel dearly. Now, Olmert and his aides are under intense criticism from the opposition for waging a poorly-planned war that cost Israel USD 1.6 billion. The insensitive defence ministry then went on to table a paper requesting another USD 10 billion for their defence budget in preparation for the next war! And now, Olmert is negotiating with Hizbollah for the release of Israeli prisoners. Maybe Hizbollah isn't as bloody as Hamas.

The asymmetry of modern warfare makes it difficult for air raids to completely eradicate terrorist organisations like Hizbollah which use guerilla warfare. To destroy terror nests, it is imperative that land ferrets need to be executed with careful planning to minimize casualties. Israeli and American generals should be aware of that. But probably under pressure from the government to win the war quick and to have like an almost zero casualty count, they probably buckled and took the risk-free air assault approach. Well, it should now seem obvious that with regards to such conflicts, there can be no winners, only losers when the element of careful planning and deliberation is missing.

Women from an Engineering perspective

2006-09-03T09:56:00.000+08:00

This was from a close friend

Third week of school, tutorials kick in, workload rising

2006-08-31T19:49:00.000+08:00

The teeny weeny part of me which I have successfully kept it teeny weeny over the past years is growing. It is slowly but surely expanding, as my workload increases by the day. It is telling me in its teeny weeny voice to just stop, give up and slack my whole semester away. It is saying to me: Why do you care so much about all your students? You don't need the money, you can definitely use the extra time so just DROP THEM and you will be RELAXING at home! You will have so much more FREE TIME! Drop them drop them drop them drop them drop them........

Why can't that part of me listen to my mind?! I gave them my word that I would see them through their A levels already! If your word is no good, you WILL be no good. There are some things that we cannot control and our thoughts are one of them. But we have a very powerful tool at our dispersal - the power of choice. We can choose to act on our thoughts, or we can choose otherwise. I have already made my choice and I am not going to change it. I am going to keep my word.

LaMENting about men

2006-08-22T12:40:00.000+08:00

Some stuff a friend shared with me:

Men are hard to please.
If you treat him nicely, he says you're in love with him.
If you don't, he says you're proud.
If you dress nicely, he says you're trying to lure him.
If you don't, he says you're from a village.
If you argue with him, he says you're stubborn.
If you don't, he says you have no brains.
If you don't make love to him, he says you don't love him.
If you do, he says you're cheap.
If you tell him your problems, he says you're troublesome.
If you don't, he says you don't trust him.
If you do well in your examinations, he says it's luck.
If he does well, it's brains.
If you hurt him, you are cruel.
If he hurts you, you are too sensitive and so hard to please!

*Ouch* =(

Happy, no....jubilant

2006-08-18T21:55:00.000+08:00

It feels so good to be back in school. My first semester is going to rock, I know it. I feel it. I will make it. As it has been written in the Analects:

“学而时习之，不亦说乎?”
-论语《学而》

A Deeper Side of Things

2006-08-09T17:02:00.000+08:00

Heard that shitty story about shit? Well here goes:

During an icy cold winter in Siberia, there was this crow that lay on the snow, almost frozen to death. Then along came this ox (please don't ask how on earth an ox can survive in Siberia) and the ox passed out all his bullshit on the crow and walked away after doing his business. Now the crow, covered in warm bullshit thanks to the ox, was not feeling cold no longer and he was so happy that he cawed for joy. Then a starving wolf, attracted to the crow by his caws, came by, grabbed the crow out of the bullshit with his paws and ate the stinking crow.

Moral of the story:
1. People who get you in deep shit may not necessarily be your enemies
2. People who get you out of deep shit may not necessarily be your friends
3. When in deep shit, never open your mouth

Well, this was one of the many stories I heard years ago that I still remember clearly to this day and will probably remember for a long long time. Stories and fables like these have helped me to understand that most of the situations that we encounter in life have a deeper side to them than what we think of them to be. You know, my mental approach and response to these kind of stories has made me realise that I am indeed different from most people, for most people would just laugh after hearing these stories and move on. But for me, I commit the lessons and morals that are found in these stories to memory and application in my everyday life. Definitely, I have gained a lot from doing that. =)

This aim of this entry is simple: To remind myself that life is like riding a bicycle - you need to be constantly on the move or you will lose balance and fall. I need to constantly improve myself by learning and investing in my education, and I derive great joy in doing that. Here, in front of my conscience and my heart, I solemnly and sincerely promise that I will never give up my pursuit to beef up my knowledge and wisdom. In Jesus's name I pray that the Lord will help me to maintain my insatiable hunger to grow more and more. Amen.

PAP - People Acting Pop or are they really hip?

2006-08-07T21:31:00.000+08:00

Seeing yet another article on the PAP trying to engage the younger generation (yes that is a euphemistic way of saying hoarding more votes from us) by trying to be cool on the papers has caused me to seriously evaluate PM Lee Hsien Loong's attempts and intentions. From fielding more of the post-independence generation as candidates during the past General Elections and appointing them Ministers of State and Parliamentary Secretaries to celebrating the party anniversary at Zouk, the PAP has indeed tried very hard, critics might say too hard, to make itself appear in sync with the young and youthful.

Going by the premise that every action has an intention behind it, PM Lee obviously believes that putting the PAP together with the young is like putting a phonograph together with an iPod nano. Is that the case? Definitely that seems to be so. It is undeniable that a large number of the ministers in the cabinet, not to mention the MPs in Parliament are from the pre-independence generation, so it makes sense to feel that there is indeed a generation gap, if not a gaping one, between the young people and their representatives in parliament.

What is the main problem with this? Does having a generation gap impede the MPs and ministers from carrying out their job, which is to represent their constituencies in Parliament and make decisions for the good of the country? Critics of the PAP definitely think so. Using the analogy of a father and his young son, any normal father loves his son and would definitely act in his son's best interests. The point of contention here is that the father might be doing what HE thinks is best for his son. Get the drift? Similarly, due to the big gap between us and the government, there are many among the young who would doubt the effectiveness of such a government, for the mindset and mentality of our MPs would probably differ from ours! How can we trust someone who doesn't exactly know what we think and want to represent us in the government?

People who are thinking on this line miss out on one important part. Yes, we do want a lot of stuff such as job security, better and cheaper healthcare, less GST and a lower bus fare. But most of us have to admit this - we know nuts about nation building, we know peanuts about geopolitics and we know walnuts about how to run a government. In my opinion, we are extremely fortunate to be born in a country with experts in place to run the show for us. And we have no doubt that these experts are indeed experts, not like some people pretending to be "experts", for PAP governance has seen us through numerous crises such as the 1960s communist insurrection leading to merger and seperation, the 1970s oil crisis and the recent 1997 Asian Financial Crisis. Can the other parties do that? Can Mr Low Thia Kiang or Mr Chiam See Tong do that? Since we are obviously not tried and tested experts in these fields, why don't we just shut up and let the experts do their job in peace?

Then these people might say, it is precisely due to the fact that the opposition parties aren't tried and tested that we should vote them in! After all, since they don't have the experience in running the government, we should give them a chance to gain that experience. Well, I think that Singapore is extremely fortunate that people who think like that are few in number. Here we already have a system that is working very well and is consistently improving itself and there are people who want to destroy it! What are the devious plans on their agenda? Whatever these plans are, they are definitely not for the good of Singapore.

Look at what the PAP is trying to do now. For the good of Singapore, these ah peks and ah cheks go to Zouk and club! Yes, having uncles and aunties at Zouk is definitely not cool and not groovy, but shouldn't their effort be understood and recognised, if not supported? The reason why the PAP is doing so is to get our votes, so they can continue to serve us and take the nation to a higher level. Don't you know how hard it is to find such committed uncles and aunties in Singapore? Let them carry on their business, support their attempts to engage the young and show that we are not that apathetic to politics in Singapore. And try not to laugh so hard when they break dance in Zouk. At least not in front of them please. Let us start considering the alternatives only when the government starts showing signs of ineffectiveness and inefficiency. It will not be too late then.

Have you fallen asleep yet? =P

Homesick

2006-08-05T10:03:00.000+08:00

is the title of the play I watched last night at the National Library! Starring Swee Lin, her hubby Kay Siu and gang, Homesick talks about controversial issues like national identity, immigration, politics, foreign talent and race in a humorous and light-hearted manner. It is one of the hot plays in the Singapore Theatre Festival 2006, and it doesn't take a Shakespeare to appreciate the quality of the play. (If an artistic blockhead like me can enjoy the play, anyone can)

The setting of the play is in the year 2003, smack in the middle of the SARS crisis and the play is basically about a divided family consisting of 7 people (8 if you wanna include the mistress). Swee Lin plays the matriach Patricia, who has 3 sons and 2 daughters who are all looking for their "sense of identity" elsewhere. Kay Siu plays the eldest son Herbert, the Englishman-wannabe. Herbert is at loggerheads with his brother Arthur, the Chinaman-wannabe second son. Patrick, the youngest child, just came back from Australia boarding school in Perth and is about to enlist. (Patrick is only 17 years old, his dad is 70, and his mom was sterilized before he was born! What a dad, I'm sure us guys could use some tips...) The eldest daughter, Marianne is married to an Indian called Manoch and both of them have got US citizenship while the second daughter Daphne, is animal-loving, pollution-hating and she loves to travel anywhere as long as the destination is not Singapore.

Over the years, Patricia's children have left her one by one. First was Herbert leaving for London, then Marianne to the States, Arthur to China, Daphne to Germany and lastly Patrick to Australia. They came back for a family reunion to celebrate their father's birthday, and got a 10-day home quarrantine order instead because their father was suspected to have SARS. Over these 10 days, the family got to know each other more after being seperated from each other for so long. I wouldn't say that they made much progress, considering the fact that Patricia divorced her husband after finding out that he had a mistress named Cindy (Cindy arrived on day 3 of the quarrantine to look for her man), and Cindy was pregnant thanks to the very fertile father of the family. The story ended there, and I didn't like it. Heck, I don't like any ending that isn't happy; I did expect everyone in the family to make up and be nice you know, not ending up worse than what they had started off with. In the end, Patricia went to the States with Marianne and Manoch to live there permanently.

Although the ending wasn't ideal, the play did raise many thought-provoking issues that are close to the heart of Singaporeans. =)

Excerpts from the play which I can still amazingly remember:

"Singapore doesn't exist... we are all immigrants!"

"A Singaporean is someone who tries so hard to find out what is a Singaporean."

"We have a national symbol that is a half-lion, half-fish, and is anatomically impossible not to mention physiologically impossible. And it is out of the water!"

"You know, this is the first time that I have come back to Singapore and everything has changed. They are tearing down the National Library now, and in 3 years time they are going to tear down the National Stadium! Why do they call it 'nation building' when they are tearing down all the buildings with the word 'national' in their name?"

"I want to grow my roots here (Singapore), but how can I grow my roots on a ground that keeps on shifting?"

"I feel as though if I'm living out somebody else's dream - one man's (MM Lee Kuan Yew) dream. All my life is shaped around this man's fantasies and phobias..."

"I don't see why I should spend 2 and a half years of my life mucking aorund in the dirt for a country that I don't even love! ...They have got foreign talents, they give them work permits and big houses and yet I have to dig my own trench!?"

Brothers and sisters, in Christ

2006-07-31T22:48:00.000+08:00

Today Tamar asked me a question over dinner at Paradiz Centre which went something like this: Are your church friends different from your normal friends? I answered, "Of course, there is a difference - a big difference, and this difference is an ideological one." The reason why church friends will definitely be closer to me than normal friends, in my opinion, is because we are bonded together by the most powerful thing on earth; and that is love. We share the love for a common entity, and this entity here is our supreme God. Therefore, this love that holds us together will definitely be harder than diamond and tougher than steel. Whereas in the case of other normal friends, it is harder and more time-consuming for us to grow to such a level because we are bonded together by the love of something that is superficial, be it the liking of each other's personality, the love of sleeping or the love for watching movies. Although disagreements, misunderstandings, getting used to personal idiosyncrasies etc will definitely be present, as they are in any type of relationship be it BGR, friend-friend or supervisor-subordinate, I am confident and optimistic that we will be able to conquer and overcome them.

How does this confidence and optimism come about? Well, I would first say that after becoming a Christian, I have gained a better understanding of what love is. As long as all of us do not deviate from the purpose of wanting to know and love God more, that love of God and for each other will grow to be so strong that nothing else matters. I feel that the saying time heals all wounds is bullshit; time just sweeps the wounds under the carpet of seconds, minutes, days, weeks, months and years. But love can heal those wounds, such is the wonder of love! By using the power of this love given to us by the Lord, I am certain that we will be able to obliterate all these problems to dust and grow to love and treasure each other more and more. I yearn for the day when my brothers and sisters in Christ can become as close as true brothers and sisters =)

Then the other side of me wonders: Am I being too idealistic? People, after all, are not infallible; you sure you can fall on them? I know you don't weigh like an elephant but can they support your weight? Are they willing to support your weight? You sure you can trust them that much? After all, you have quite a few very close friends who aren't Christians so what makes your "brothers and sisters" so special? What if you get hurt? What if they kidnap you and sell you to Thailand? All the "what ifs" start floating around in my head like hungry spirits in the 7th month.

Well, the logical answer is of course, I don't know! I've only known them for barely 2 months. But some of these people are special. You know who you are or will know who you are in due time. You can really see their hearts and souls through their eyes, and what I see is love, lots of love. They are special, or at least they feel special to me. Can this love withstand the test of time? Well, the logical answer is of course, I don't know! But my gut feeling tells me to open myself to them and give my trust to them. And I know that they won't kidnap me or sell me to Thailand, because they can't speak Thai anyway so they definitely will have a problem getting a buyer! Whether this love will stand I do not know, for I still have loads to experience and find out about love. Until then, I will take my chances with my gut feeling and time will tell whether I have made the right decision.

I really really really really really don't want to end up in Thailand.

The private parts... of my thoughts

2006-07-28T21:16:00.000+08:00

Calyn hit the nail on the head when she said that sometimes it's really difficult to pen down those thoughts which are private on your blog. That's exactly what I'm feeling write now; should I write what I am thinking here? Or should I not? Sometimes I just wonder, what is it that I fear by sharing these selection of my thoughts which I guard fiercely under lock and key? Is it because I don't trust the people who are/will be reading my blog? Maybe I don't trust them enough yet? What do I have to lose by revealing those thoughts? What do I have to gain? I don't know but there is a part of me that feels uncomfortable with sharing all those thoughts with everybody and anybody through a blog. So yeah, if you actually look at it that way, a blog is a pretty superficial thing compared to a diary. =
But the thing is...I'm pretty sure that everyone else has secrets, you know stuff they don't want to tell the whole world. Show me a person who does not even have a single secret and I will show you a newborn baby. Some people have more secrets, some people have less secrets. To me, a secret is an extremely powerful thing! By telling a person something you hold dear in your head and your heart, you are basically trusting that person and I would say, "giving" him a private part of you. I like that. I like to share the private parts (of my thoughts la!) with others who are dear to me. It is a way, my way of saying, I trust you; I like to be with you; I am willing to share these parts of me with you. That is how strong friendships and relationships between people can grow - through sharing of secrets.

Well, in any case I have decided. I would rather have people discovering the inner side of me at my own pace face to face compared to reading about it in my blog. (Don't you want to meet me face to face now? Say yes =P) I think my friends and I will have a lot of fun and fulfillment together as we continue to discover more about each other as we continue the journey of life hand in hand. It's kind of like unrapping Christmas presents. Goodie. =)

P.S: SHAME on you if you let your thoughts run wild because of the title, you know what I mean? ;)

My Favourite Worship Song

2006-07-27T15:28:00.000+08:00

Shout to the Lord
My Jesus, my Savior, Lord, there is none like You
All of my days I want to praise the wonders of Your mighty love
My comfort, my shelter, tower of refuge and strength
Let every breath, all that I am, never cease to worship You

Shout to the Lord, all the earth, let us sing
Power and Majesty, praise to the King
Mountains bow down and the seas will roar
At the sound of Your name
I sing for joy at the work of your hands,
Forever I'll love You, forever I'll stand
Nothing compares to the promise I have in You.

I love this song very much. I first heard this song in Catholic High, probably when I was 13 years old. Although I had not received Christ as my personal Lord and savior at that time, I was so struck by the splendour and the majesty of the song that I couldn't help but sing along. This song is just so nice =)

Lord,
thank You for Calyn who gave me the chance to listen to such a magnificent song again.
thank You for blessing me with such a wonderful care group.
thank You for giving me so many good friends in my life.
and most importantly, thank You Lord for showing me what is the meaning of love.

Pigs Can Fly

2006-07-26T16:47:00.000+08:00

Well as the story goes, the blog monster ate up a lot of my friends, some close ones too, a couple of years back. When some of them asked me to get a blog of my own, I told them that the blog monster will only get me when pigs can fly. So since I have a blog now, I believe the pigs must be flying in the sky so do not be surprised if you look out the window and see flying pigs =)

So... why did I start a blog all of a sudden? I guess I needed a place more than ever to pen down my thoughts and reflections ever since I came to know God in my life, because they are multipling like rabbits in summer and I'm afraid that I'll forget them in the years to come. And a blog takes up less space and costs less than a diary. (Ok yes I am a miser so shoot me! =P)

Looking back, the reason why I didn't blog when my friends asked me to was probably my laziness. (Yeah I'm stingy and lazy) Seriously back then I could never imagine myself sitting down in front of my computer and taking time to pen down my so private thoughts which are for me to know only. Well, I guess people change and I obviously have changed, for the better I hope ;)